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LISTENING VS. UNDERSTANDING

Have you ever had a fight with your wife? Have you ever been angry with each other? How did you resolve your misunderstanding? Or are you still wondering how you can fix it?

In this blog, let me share with you some ways to resolve a conflict in couples.

 

We can hear everything but not everything we can understand. So it is important to have understanding when it comes to communication especially if we are in the heat of an argument.

 

Listening:

“Let’s talk about it again later. I do not like let’s argue outside here.”

“Why? Because you don’t want to admit that you are wrong? Or do you think that I’m wrong again?”

 

Understanding:

“Let’s talk about it again later. I do not like let’s argue outside here.”

 

“All right. I’ll just chill first.”

 

TALKING VS. COMMUNICATING

In any dispute, it is between the two of you. Don’t let other people around you sympathize with your marital problems.


It’s not bad to ask for advice from others, but it’s more important to talk to yourself.


Talking:


“You’re always angry when you talk about it
the one about the salary.”


“How can I not get angry again and again?
Your issue is about my salary.”


Communicating:


“Where does your salary go? Possible
let’s talk about it so we can fix it
the monthly budgeting?


“What are the expenses we spend on?


every month to help you with budgeting too?


Remember that you and your spouse are not enemies. You should be partners in life. So if you have a misunderstanding, learn to adjust for each other.

 

ATTACK VS. OPINION

Attack, this is the one where there is no argument yet, but out of nowhere you suddenly remember the issue you had before and will dig it up again now.


Opinion on the other hand, this is when we say our point of view on something that we don’t need to convey in an argument or fight.

 

Attack:

“The dish is overdone with soy sauce again. You always cook like this.”

 

Opinion:

“It looks like it’s overdone with soy sauce. Maybe next time, add it little by little, then taste it from time to time so you know if the mixture is right.”

 

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY. 

◉Do you always argue about the same thing over and over again?

◉What is the root and end of your argument?

◉What solution did the two of you agree on to make it work?

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